


A Certain Kind of Devotion

by thekatthatbarks



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anbu Yamato | Tenzou, Developing Relationship, Fluff, Hokage!Kakashi, M/M, Mutual Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:09:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24167881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thekatthatbarks/pseuds/thekatthatbarks
Summary: “Hokage-sama, you can always talk over any ANBU mission reports with the Commander.”Kakashi waved dismissively. “Why do that when you’re right here?”Yamato fought back a sigh. “Hokage-sama.”Kakashi glanced at him and it was like he could see the look Yamato was giving him through the mask. He might as well have with how long they’d known each other. He shrugged, a cheeky smile on his lips. “Well, you don’t mind helping out your handsome Hokage, do you, Cat?”Yamato rolled his eyes at him. “Of course not, Hokage-sama.”
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Yamato | Tenzou
Comments: 8
Kudos: 126





	A Certain Kind of Devotion

Kakashi sighed and Yamato watched as he dropped his pen to his desk and started to rub the spot between his eyebrows. Yamato looked on in sympathy, having watched Kakashi drag his feet the whole day. Despite applying for it himself, he had mixed feelings about being assigned to Kakashi’s ANBU guard. He was honored to serve and protect him, even if it meant it was silently from the shadows. But he hadn’t expected the anxiety that coiled in his stomach on days like this. When he wanted nothing more than to reach out to Kakashi or even offer some words of comfort, but his duty was to remain hidden in the corners of his office – out of sight, out of mind.

He wasn’t foolish enough to think Kakashi didn’t know he was there, that he didn’t know where his ANBU guard was at all times. Some of the younger members liked to pride themselves on fooling their Hokages with how well they could conceal themselves, but Yamato wasn’t so naïve. He was sure Kakashi could even pinpoint who was who in the dark. The man wasn’t chosen as Hokage simply because of how nice he looked carved into the mountain.

Yamato wondered if him being there was any kind of comfort to Kakashi, even if they didn’t interact.

An ANBU appeared beside him and Yamato tore his eyes away from Kakashi to look at them. Rabbit nodded her head and signed, “Shift change.”

Yamato smiled in relief behind his mask even if she couldn’t see it and nodded back. He was tempted to go to Kakashi then but fought it down and went back to the ANBU Headquarters. He didn’t want to be overbearing and he had to draw the professional line somewhere. After he changed into a jounin uniform, though, his feet led him back to the Hokage Tower.

Kakashi called out for him to come in after he knocked, and Yamato tried to not be too pleased when Kakashi smiled seeing it was him. He told him quietly as Yamato walked towards the desk, “Ah, Tenzou, I thought you were one of those pesky council members coming to badger me again.”

Yamato smiled, stopping in front of the desk. “You know you might be here a while, might want to try and lessen that animosity.”

Kakashi let out a dry chuckle, glancing up at him. “Don’t remind me.” He leaned back in his chair and his eyes were so tired when they met Yamato’s. “Did you need something or were you just dying to see me?”

Yamato rolled his eyes at him and teased back as he rounded the desk to stand beside his chair. “Oh, I think I see you often enough, Kakashi-sama.”

“I’ve _told_ you to drop the sama, Tenzou.” Kakashi side eyed him as Yamato crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back against the desk.

“And I’ve told _you_ to call me Yamato now.” Yamato gave him a long-suffering sigh, but it was just for show. He didn’t mind Kakashi calling him Tenzou. Even if he did, it would never compare to how much Kakashi hated almost anyone calling him sama.

Kakashi leaned his head into the palm of his hand, his fingers massaging his left temple. He mumbled, “It’s just us.”

Yamato felt himself smile and told him quietly back, “Okay, Kakashi-senpai.”

It earned him a short-lived smile before Kakashi winced again and said, “You’d think if I didn’t have the damn thing anymore, these headaches would’ve stopped.”

Yamato frowned and reached out to him like he’d wanted to all day. He rested his hand on Kakashi’s arm, telling him softly, “Why don’t you leave a little early today and go home to rest?”

Kakashi sighed and looked down at the papers on his desk, probably gauging how much extra work he’ll have tomorrow if he leaves now. Yamato added in his hesitation, “It’s been a slow day anyway.”

Kakashi smiled and looked up at him in thought, still leaning his head in his hand. Yamato felt his chest squeeze as he smiled back. He wondered if Kakashi would always have that effect on him. He supposed so since it had already been twenty years and the feelings had only planted themselves deeper inside him over time.

“I guess it couldn’t hurt.”

Yamato had forgotten about his hand on Kakashi’s arm until he was reminded when the man placed his hand over his. “Join me for dinner?”

“Sure,” Yamato agreed easily, straightening as Kakashi stood up and took his hand back. Kakashi closed the open folder on his desk and headed towards the door.

Yamato followed him as they walked past the coat rack with the Hokage robes and hat. Kakashi only wore them when they had visitors from other lands or the Lord of Fire himself. Yamato couldn’t say he was surprised. Though, a small part of him was happy that Sakura had at least convinced him to wear the flak jacket she had made for him. A dark vest, simply cut with _Rokudaime_ embroidered on the back in a deep red. It suited him more than the robes, anyway.

Kakashi was quiet as they walked and Yamato fell easily into step beside him, noticing they were taking the oddest route to his apartment. But then he realized Kakashi chose the least crowded streets to walk down and Yamato could see why after the second person came up to talk to him in the span of five minutes. People had always eyed Kakashi as he passed by, but it had become so much more pronounced since he became Hokage. Kakashi had only been Hokage for almost a month now and Yamato rarely worked the evening shift, so he hadn’t noticed it.

Even when he stepped out of the office, Kakashi couldn’t catch a break.

They reached his apartment quickly enough and the sigh that fell from Kakashi’s masked lips once the door closed was clearly relief. His muscles sagged and Yamato’s heart went out to him as he took off his shoes. Yamato stepped towards the kitchen as Kakashi shed his jacket and headband, tossing them to a chair in his small living room.

Yamato was peeking into his fridge as Kakashi’s feet padded into the kitchen. He chuckled and leaned against the counter beside him. “I didn’t invite you over to cook me dinner, Tenzou.”

Yamato shrugged, glancing at him with a smile as he pulled ingredients out. “I don’t mind.”

Kakashi gave him a long sigh but there was a faint smile beneath his mask. “I’ll help you then.”

They fixed the meal quickly, quiet laughter filling the kitchen as they made light hearted jabs at each other. Even after all these years, Kakashi still liked to lean into his space and tease him over whatever he could think of. Yamato bit back at him with a roll of his eyes, but he couldn’t say he minded it. Not with that light in Kakashi’s eyes and not with the smile that constantly threatened his lips.

Yamato leaned back in his chair after they finished eating and Kakashi got up from the table, grabbing their plates and taking them to the sink. He was back a second later, standing behind him and tugging on his forehead protector. Yamato made an annoyed noise and reached up to bat his hand away. Kakashi laughed and his voice felt soft as he told him, “Stay a while.”

Yamato felt his heart squeeze in his chest, and he pulled off his forehead protector to lay it on the table. “Alright.”

Kakashi went to the living room and Yamato trailed after him, tossing his own flak jacket to the chair Kakashi had thrown his. They sat down on the couch and Yamato looked down in surprise when Kakashi laid down with his head in his lap. They had always been close, their personal bubbles often overlapping each other’s. But this was different.

Yamato was thankful Kakashi closed his eyes, sure he was probably blushing. He rested his arm on the back of the couch and leaned his head against his fist, looking down at him with an amused smile. “What’re you doing?”

Kakashi peeked an eye at him and Yamato could make out the teasing smile underneath his mask. “Do you mind?”

“No.” Yamato’s other hand fell to Kakashi’s hair and he watched with an unsteady heart as Kakashi closed his eye again.

“Mah, maybe I’ve just gotten physically affectionate in my old age.”

Yamato chuckled and carded his fingers absentmindedly through Kakashi’s hair, watching as the man sighed contently. Yamato smiled and glanced around the apartment, noticing more furniture than the last time he was there. “Have you also become more of an adult? I don’t think I ever expected you to own a couch. You even have a matching loveseat.”

Kakashi snorted. “Don’t be silly, Tenzou. This is all Sakura’s doing. Once she finished with Naruto, she moved on to me and rambled on about _homes_ and _not just places to sleep_ until I gave in and let her take me furniture shopping.”

Yamato laughed. “Sounds like her.”

Kakashi opened his eyes to point a finger up at him and warned, “She’ll get to you at some point, too. Better make sure your house is in order.”

“I actually have furniture in my house, senpai. It may not get used very much but it’s there.”

Kakashi chuckled and closed his eyes again. “I suppose you do.”

They drifted into a comfortable silence and Yamato wondered if Kakashi was going to fall asleep right there. Then, Kakashi winced and brought his hand up to the side of his head. Yamato sighed in sympathy and moved his fingers to massage at Kakashi’s temple. Kakashi dropped his hand back to his side with a heavy sigh.

“You should have Sakura look at your eyes.”

“I’m fine,” Kakashi lied. Yamato rolled his eyes but didn’t push, deciding to leave it for later.

He did let some sarcasm slip into his voice though. “Sure, you are, Kakashi.”

Kakashi tilted his head and looked up at him. “Well, I have you, don’t I? I think I’ll be fine.”

Yamato knew he meant it to come off teasingly. But with Kakashi’s head in his lap in the quiet of his apartment and how soft his tired voice was, it felt strangely intimate.

Yamato smiled; his gaze warm when he met Kakashi’s. “I’m no medical ninja.”

Kakashi chuckled, tapping him lightly in the stomach. “I think I’ll keep you anyway.”

***

“Cat?” Kakashi called out to him, not even looking up from the mission reports in front of him.

Yamato dropped down beside him with a slight bow. “Yes, Hokage-sama?”

Kakashi shifted in his seat and Yamato could see his jaw lock. But it wasn’t like he could call him _Kakashi-senpai_ while he was in uniform. Kakashi shrugged it off and motioned with his fingers.

Yamato came to stand beside his shoulder and Kakashi held up a mission report. “What do you think about this?”

Yamato read through it quickly, seeing the points that probably made Kakashi worried and told him. It was ANBU and heavily coded, but they had both been in the field long enough to read it with ease. Yamato handed it back to him after a moment and Kakashi sighed. “That’s what I thought. Thank you, Cat.”

Yamato nodded and flickered back to his corner.

Kakashi did the same thing three more times over the next two weeks and Yamato had to finally comment. “Hokage-sama, you can always talk over any ANBU mission reports with the Commander.”

Kakashi waved dismissively. “Why do that when you’re right here?”

Yamato fought back a sigh. He knew Kakashi thought Commander Matsuda was an idiot and had been hinting that Yamato should take over the position, but Yamato wasn’t interested. Even ignoring the blatant showcase of favoritism from Kakashi firing the Commander and Yamato filling the position afterwards, he didn’t want it and he had told him as much.

“Hokage-sama.”

Kakashi glanced at him and it was like he could see the look Yamato was giving him through the mask. He might as well have with how long they’d known each other. He shrugged, a cheeky smile on his lips. “Well, you don’t mind helping out your handsome Hokage, do you, Cat?”

Yamato rolled his eyes at him. “Of course not, Hokage-sama.”

***

“You seem a little preoccupied.”

Yamato had heard him come in through the front door, not even bothering to knock. But Yamato hadn’t moved from his spot on the back porch, knowing he would find him easily enough.

He leaned back on his hands and glanced up at Kakashi as he leaned against a beam to his porch. “What makes you say that, Kakashi?”

Kakashi chuckled and moved to sit next to him. He bumped his shoulder against his and smiled. “I don’t know. Have you always had a forest in your backyard, Tenzou?”

Yamato glanced back at the yard and actually _looked_ at it, realizing how many trees he’d sprouted. He felt himself blush and sighed. “I must’ve been a bit spaced out.”

The unspoken question hung in the air, but Yamato didn’t answer it and Kakashi let it fall to the ground without comment. He laid back against the porch beside him and said wistfully, “Maybe I can live in there. Build a nice cottage. You can bring me food and I’ll have my Icha Icha. I’d never have to go to work again.”

Yamato laughed and glanced down at him. “Do I just tell everyone you disappeared?”

Kakashi smiled at him and shrugged. “You’ve kept all my other secrets. This one shouldn’t be too difficult.”

Yamato snorted and laid down next to him, resting his head on his arm. “You know, it sounds like a great plan and all. But I really don’t think the _forest_ is that big.”

Kakashi sighed. “Then, I guess you have a lot of work ahead of you.”

Yamato chuckled and turned his head towards Kakashi. He got a smile in return that made him melt. “I guess so.”

***

Kakashi leaned against the counter beside him and told him, “You know, I hate having an ANBU guard. It’s ridiculous, giving me a title that means _strongest in the village_ and then giving me bodyguards? And they’re always watching me, it’s creepy.”

Yamato held back a laugh as he tossed food into a pan on the stove. “Kakashi, I am _literally_ one of those creepy guards.”

Kakashi rolled his eyes at him. “I don’t mean _you_.”

Yamato chuckled and tried to console him. “They’re not _inside_ the house, they’re just guarding it.”

Kakashi insisted as he walked behind him to the fridge, “It’s still weird.” His fingers trailed down his arm as he went, and Yamato ignored the fluttering in his stomach.

“You’ve been a guard a hundred times by now.”

Kakashi shrugged and grabbed a water from the fridge. “I guess I just don’t like being on the receiving end.”

Yamato hummed as he cooked, “I’m sure you’ll get used to it eventually. Besides it’s not even that bad. There’s only one guard in the office and it’s usually me.”

Kakashi didn’t reply and Yamato vaguely heard a cabinet door open. Before he could look up, Kakashi had moved behind him and leaned his chin on Yamato’s shoulder, a ghost of a hand on his hip. Yamato stilled and watched as Kakashi’s hand reached around him to shake a spice over the pan. Yamato huffed and leaned back to look at him. He raised an eyebrow at him, and the man shrugged with a small laugh, a smirk on his face. He was always more maddening with his mask down, his teasing smiles more visible.

“What? You didn’t add enough.”

Yamato rolled his eyes and tried to calm his racing heart as Kakashi moved away like he hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary.

***

Having dinner a few nights a week had become habit of theirs. It was usually at one of their places, Kakashi avoided the public like the plague since he became Hokage – at some point, they were going to have to try and break him out of it. But for now, they let him do as he pleased.

They’d been at Kakashi’s and Yamato had already said his goodnight and headed to the door when Kakashi called out to him from the couch, “Why don’t you just stay the night?”

Yamato turned around, a small smile on his lips. “Kakashi-senpai, it’s not that late. I don’t mind walking – “

Kakashi looked at him over the back of the couch. “You haven’t been sleeping well lately, have you? Maybe having someone nearby will help.”

Yamato sighed and stepped back towards him, crossing his arms over the back of the couch near Kakashi. “I thought I was hiding it well.”

Kakashi put a hand on his arm and gave him a warm smile. “Mah, I think I just know you better than you think.”

Yamato chuckled and met his eyes. “I guess you do.”

Kakashi broke his gaze and then patted his arm before standing up. “Don’t bother with the couch. It’s uncomfortable to sleep on.”

With a wave of his hand, Kakashi walked towards his bedroom. Yamato glanced at the couch and then followed after him with a small smile.

Yamato had slept beside Kakashi countless times before, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. But he was still thankful the bed was more than big enough for them both. Kakashi laid on the side facing the window and Yamato felt like it was intentional to help him feel safe. It seemed Kakashi would always know him better than he thought. He wasn’t too surprised by it, but it was nice sometimes, to not have to say anything, to not have to explain. Kakashi understood him and wouldn’t ever judge him.

He didn’t know what kind of expression he had but it made Kakashi quirk a smile at him and ask softly, “What?”

“Nothing.” Yamato shrugged against his pillow, a smile still on his lips.

Kakashi raised an eyebrow but didn’t push. His voice felt warm when he told him, “Good night, Tenzou.”

“Good night, senpai,” Yamato replied as Kakashi rolled over on to his side, his back to him.

Yamato watched his hair move against the pillow as he tried to get more comfortable. How his breathing steadily got slower, the rise and fall of his shoulder. Yamato felt himself mumble as he closed his eyes, “Thank you, Kakashi.”

***

Yamato hadn’t spoken to him since they got back a few hours ago. Hadn’t spoken to him the rest of their way back to the village. He had just been so _angry_ , and Yamato didn’t want his emotions to take control of his tongue. Even if now, he didn’t feel that much better. After a quick but brutal meeting with Commander Matsuda, Yamato almost felt like life was playing some cruel joke on him.

His anger had mixed with some sadness and it was a heavy weight in his chest. Maybe he should’ve given it some more time, but his feet had carried him here and he wasn’t about to walk away now. Kakashi answered the door before he could even knock on it.

Normally, Yamato might’ve felt some sliver of amusement at the sheer trepidation on Kakashi’s face, but not today.

Kakashi opened the door wide enough for him to walk in and he did so without a word. Yamato slipped off his shoes and walked to the middle of the living room, feeling Kakashi’s eyes on his back. He took a deep breath before turning towards him.

“Kakashi, what the _hell_?”

Kakashi sighed and stepped off the wall he’d been leaning on. “Tenzou, I didn’t even get hurt. I don’t – “

“You’re the _damn_ _Hokage_!” Yamato waved his hands in front of him. “You don’t step in front of an _ANBU guard_ when we get attacked!”

Kakashi looked off to the side, his jaw locking. “That shouldn’t even matter.”

“Well, it _does_!” Yamato took a step towards him, the anger he’d felt over the whole day coating his ribs. “I am your _guard_ , Kakashi, it’s my job to protect _you_. Not the other way around.”

Kakashi’s face broke and he turned back to him, his eyes narrowing. “I hate being the _damn Hokage_ , Tenzou! How do you expect me to just _stand around_ and let you get hurt? Especially when it’s _because_ of me. Because some assholes in a bingo book want to make it big by taking out a Kage.”

Yamato let out a breath. “I _know_ , Kakashi. But you have to _trust_ me sometimes.” He felt some of his anger slip away, replaced by hurt. His voice quietened and he looked away from him. “After all these years together and you can’t just let me have this. Let me protect you. Hell, you couldn’t even trust me to protect _myself_.”

Kakashi closed the distance between them and grabbed his arm. “Tenzou, it’s not like that. I just – “

“Kakashi, I’ve been in ANBU over twenty years. You think some low rank assassin was going to take me out? I had that handled, you didn’t need to step in. What if you _had_ gotten hurt? Did it ever cross your mind about how that would’ve made _me_ feel?” Yamato met his eyes, his chest tightening when the grip on his arm did.

Kakashi broke their gaze and looked down at his chest. “No, it didn’t.”

Yamato huffed and stepped back from him, but Kakashi only reached out for him again. “I’m sorry. It’s not like – I know you could have but I can’t…” Kakashi sighed and looked off to the side as the sentence trailed off.

“Can’t what, Kakashi?” Yamato’s voice was almost pleading as he stared at Kakashi’s face, wishing they weren’t having this argument and that he didn’t have to watch the mix of emotions clouding Kakashi’s eyes. It had been years since he wasn’t able to read him, but he had no idea what was going through the man’s mind right now and he hated it.

But he also felt like they needed this, even if it hurt.

Kakashi looked back to him after a moment, dropping his hand from his arm. His voice was quiet but heavy. “I can’t _lose_ you.” He breathed out and then reached up to pull his mask down. It was nowhere near the first time he’d seen Kakashi’s face, but the action still startled the breath from his lungs. “After everything… and everyone, I can’t lose you, too, Tenzou. Not you.”

Yamato felt like something was stuck in his throat and he had to swallow it down before speaking again. His voice was softer, and he told him, “Kakashi, I don’t want you stepping in front of me like that.”

Kakashi nodded but Yamato wasn’t foolish enough to think he’d won the argument. He tried for a smile, the dimple in his cheek now visible. “I won’t promise anything.”

Yamato knew he wouldn’t, even before coming over here. He gave a reluctant nod and took a deep breath before telling him, “I’ve been dismissed from your guard.”

Kakashi eyes widened and he cursed, “Matsuda? That fucking idiot. I wasn’t even hurt and it’s not like it would’ve been _your_ fault.” Kakashi pulled away from him, tugging up his mask up and stepping towards the door. “It’s _my_ guard. Who the hell does he think – “

Yamato didn’t go after him, knowing his next words would stop him. He kept his eyes on his back and said, “Someone who is in a romantic relationship with the Hokage shouldn’t be placed on his guard.”

Kakashi’s feet stopped a few steps from him but he didn’t turn around. Yamato’s heart hammered in his chest in the seconds it took him to reply. He sighed and asked quietly, “What did you tell him?”

Yamato chuckled and leaned his shoulder against the wall, his chest tight. “What do you think, Kakashi? I resigned.”

When Kakashi turned around, he looked at him almost heartbroken. Yamato bitterly thought it was ironic. “You didn’t need to do that.”

Yamato smiled and looked off to the side. “Kakashi, I’ve never wanted to be in ANBU my whole life. The only reason I went back after the war was because they made you Hokage and I wanted to be in your guard.”

His eyes went back to him as Kakashi stepped towards him, his feet carefully placed against the floor. Yamato’s pulse was pounding in his ears and a voice in his head was telling him to stop talking. But he didn’t listen to it this time and the words spilled from his lips, his voice a lot calmer than he felt.

“I love you. I’ve been in love with you what seems like my whole life and I don’t think that’s ever going to change. There’s never been anyone else, Kakashi, it’s always been you and it’s always _going_ to be you. And I accepted a long time ago that things may never change. That you may never feel the same way or just not want to chance it. Because it doesn’t matter. I love you and I just want to see you happy, take care of you, in any way you’ll have me. I applied to be on your guard because I wanted to be by your side, to protect you.” He glanced down at the floor, a small laugh escaping him as he felt his eyes burn. “And you wouldn’t even let me have that.”

Kakashi had closed the distance between them as he talked, and Yamato felt hands grabbing his face. Kakashi brought his head up and Yamato met his eyes, feeling breathless from the heat that was clouded there. Kakashi’s voice was thick as he told him softly, his mask down again, “I’ve never deserved that kind of devotion.”

Yamato smiled at him and shrugged, replying back barely above a whisper, “I gave it to you anyway.”

Kakashi pressed his lips against his and Yamato felt his breath catch as he closed his eyes. They stayed like for a moment, Kakashi close to him with his hair brushing across his forehead and his lips against his. Kakashi’s thumb stroked across his skin and the movement was so gentle Yamato felt like it might break him.

Kakashi leaned his forehead against his and his voice was wrecked with emotion as he said, “I love you.”

Yamato felt his chest shake and pleaded back, “Don’t say it just to say it.”

He opened his eyes to see Kakashi looking at him with a smile. “I wouldn’t,” he promised.

Yamato moved his arms up his chest and around his neck to pull him back to his lips.

***

Kakashi gave him a sleepy smile and then sighed. “Tenzou, I think you’re a bit of an idiot.”

Yamato snorted and turned his face into the pillow. “You need to work on your bedroom talk.”

Kakashi laughed and slipped his fingers through Yamato’s hair to bring his face back into view. The smile he gave him made Yamato melt as their eyes met. “Tenzou, I _adore_ you. How could you have never noticed that?”

Yamato felt his heart stutter in his chest and his face flush, but he couldn’t break Kakashi’s gaze, his eyes searching his. “Could’ve fooled me.”

Kakashi chuckled and raised an eyebrow. “Apparently.”

Yamato sighed and wrapped an arm around his waist to pull him closer to him. Kakashi went easily, leaning forward to kiss him on the lips. Yamato leaned his forehead against his and looked down at the sheets between them. “I don’t know, Kakashi. There were times I thought you did but I second guessed myself. Maybe you did and you just didn’t want to pursue it. Maybe I was imagining things.”

“You weren’t imagining anything.”

Yamato looked back to him and then wondered how often Kakashi had looked at him like that. Tender, affectionate. It felt so familiar and Yamato wondered if he really was an idiot, having convinced himself so much that he’d be fine if Kakashi never returned his feelings that in turn, he’d convinced himself it wouldn’t ever happen. Over the last few years, he’d felt like there was something between them, but when Kakashi didn’t push any further, he figured he just wanted them to stay the way they were. It had been a more heartbreaking thought than if he’d just imagined the looks and the lingering touches.

“I think you’re a bit of an idiot too.”

Kakashi sighed and agreed, “Probably am.”

Yamato laughed and Kakashi smiled in response. It faded a bit and then he told him, quietly, “I didn’t want to encompass your life more than I already had. You’ve looked up to me so much since we met, and I didn’t want to ask more from you. Like I told you earlier, I’ve never deserved that level of devotion. I know you think I saved you, but you saved me more than I think you’ll ever realize.”

Yamato kissed him and repeated the sentiment from earlier, “I think I’ll give it to you anyway.”

***

Yamato had been walking down the street from the market when she came up beside him. Yamato smiled at her, not having seen her much since he left ANBU. Yugao was rarely out of uniform.

She bumped her arm against his. “So, you really resigned, huh?”

Yamato chuckled and looked at the street ahead of them. “I mean, I didn’t have much of a choice. I didn’t want to go back to the barracks.”

“I know. I heard what happened.” She smiled and then sighed. “I don’t know how you two thought you could get away with it. Anyone who’s known either of you for long can see it. You flirt all the time. You spend most of your free time together. I’ve seen you leave his apartment in the _morning_ – “

Yamato cut her off, feeling his skin heat. “Okay, okay, I get it.”

Yugao laughed and they were quiet for a moment. Then, she told him in a teasing voice, “I have to admit, it was really romantic how he just jumped in front of you like that.”

Yamato scoffed. “Romantic? He was being an asshole.”

Yugao chuckled with a shake of her head and told him sincerely, “I’m glad you two finally got your shit figured out.”

Yamato felt like a sap, but said it anyway, “Me too.”

She smiled and met his eyes, then looked away with a sigh. “I’m going to miss you.”

“Then, don’t be a stranger.” Yamato reached out to wrap an arm around her shoulders. Yugao made a face but leaned into him all the same. “You have more than one civilian outfit, don’t you?”

She nodded with a roll of her eyes. “I _do_. I’ll see you around.” She moved away from him, ruffling his hair, and stepping back. She sent him a small wave before disappearing down the street.

***

Yamato could hear the argument as he opened the door.

“Are you seriously threatening to sic _Yamato_ on me? That’s low, Shizune.”

“Well, maybe he could talk some sense into you since you won’t listen to me.”

“I – “ Kakashi cut off as Yamato stepped into the room. He met his eyes and then dropped his gaze to his desk. He cleared his throat. “Anyway, as I was telling you earlier about the daimyo – “

Yamato laughed as he walked closer to his desk. “No, no, what were you talking about?” He glanced to Shizune with a raised eyebrow.

She pounced on the question and glared at the side of Kakashi’s head. “I have been telling him for _two weeks_ to let me examine his eyes or at least go to Sakura. But he won’t listen to me.”

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at her. “You’re such a snitch.”

Shizune laughed and took a page from Tsunade’s book. “And you’re such a _brat_ , Kakashi-sama.”

Kakashi sighed and made the mistake of looking to Yamato for his defense. Yamato cocked an eyebrow at him. “What? You are a brat. You told me you were going to get your eyes checked a week ago.”

Kakashi rolled his eyes and told him for the dozenth time, “I’m fine.”

“Kakashi.”

Kakashi met his gaze and then looked over to the still agitated Shizune. “Fine, but I’ll go see _Sakura_. Shizune might actually poke an eye out in revenge for me driving her crazy if I give her the opportunity.”

Shizune huffed but didn’t deny it making Yamato chuckle. Yamato jerked his head towards the door. “Well, come on, then. I came to take you to lunch, anyway.”

Kakashi tensed at his desk. “Now?”

“Yes, now.” Yamato moved towards the door, hearing Kakashi mutter under his breath before falling into step beside him.

Kakashi sighed once they were outside and slipped a hand into his pocket, grabbing Yamato’s with the other and tugging towards the opposite street from the hospital. “Really, Tenzou, I’m fine. We should just go eat and – “

Yamato looked at him with a chuckle. “Kakashi, it’s not even going to take Sakura five minutes.”

Kakashi groaned and tried again, “I don’t – “

Yamato pulled on him and started walking. “Don’t bother. You’re going.”

Kakashi sighed but stopped arguing and slipped his fingers in between his.

Sakura let out a frustrated sigh as she shined a light in his eyes. “Kakashi-sensei, you should’ve come to see me earlier.”

Kakashi lazily replied, “Not like it would’ve made a difference.”

Sakura rolled her eyes at him and pulled back to make some marks on her chart. “It might’ve.”

Yamato shifted from one foot to the other where he stood beside Kakashi sitting on the exam table. “What’s wrong with him?”

Sakura glanced at him before telling Kakashi reluctantly, “The sharingan damaged the nerves around your left eye. You won’t go blind, but it’s made your eyesight worse. It’s why you’ve been getting migraines. Trying to read with so much strain on your eyes isn’t good.” She looked back to her chart. “I can get some glasses ready for you, they’ll help.”

“I don’t want glasses.”

Sakura scoffed and didn’t look up from her paperwork. “You sound like a five-year-old.”

Yamato laughed and Kakashi tsked, looking at him. “You know, I’m really tired of people telling me I’m acting like a child.”

Yamato leaned in close to him and told him near his ear, “Then, stop acting like one.”

Kakashi hit him in the arm with a half-hearted glare. “I’m _not_.”

“Kakashi, why don’t you want glasses?” Sakura looked up at him and cocked an eyebrow.

Kakashi shrugged and said simply, “I’ll look old.”

It was an obvious lie, but Yamato didn’t call him out on it. “Kakashi, you know you will still look gorgeous as always. Stop being difficult.”

Kakashi smiled and waved a hand at Sakura, telling him in a scandalized voice, “Not in front of the children, Yamato.”

Yamato rolled his eyes with a smile while Sakura laughed. She raised her voice and told Kakashi in a no-nonsense tone she probably learned from Tsunade. “Kakashi, you’re getting glasses. They’ll be ready in an hour and you better go pick them up.”

She gave him a look and tore a piece of paper from her clipboard, then gave it to Yamato. Kakashi sighed but didn’t argue as he stood up. He waved two fingers to Sakura as they walked out. “Thank you, Sakura-chan.”

***

Yamato came into the bedroom after a shower to see Kakashi sitting on the bed turning his glasses over in his hands. Yamato fought back a sigh, feeling his chest tighten and climbed on to the bed beside him.

Kakashi chuckled and joked, “You know, I was kidding earlier about looking old. But with the grey hair, they definitely add that kind of effect.”

Yamato leaned towards him to kiss his cheek. “You do not look _old_ , Kakashi.”

Kakashi turned his head towards him, a teasing smirk on his lips. “You don’t think so?” Kakashi slipped the glasses on and leaned his head into the palm of his hand with an arched eyebrow. “How do they make me look then?”

“Sexy,” Yamato told him without hesitation, then smirked at the hint of red at the tips of Kakashi’s ears.

Kakashi closed the distance between them to kiss him, guiding Yamato on to his back. Yamato kissed him back, his arms wrapping around him to pull him closer as Kakashi settled in between his legs. Kakashi teased him against his lips, “Mah, I think you might have a glasses kink, Tenzou.”

Yamato laughed into the kiss, tugging on the hair he had twisted around his fingers. “I do not.”

Kakashi sucked on his bottom lip and told him in a low voice as one of his hands moved down Yamato’s side to his thigh, “I think you do.” He kissed across his jaw and Yamato leaned his head back with a heavy sigh. Kakashi made a frustrated noise after a moment and pulled back. Yamato looked at him in question as Kakashi took off his glasses. “Look. They’re all smudged now. I hate these damn things.”

Yamato chuckled warmly and plucked them from his fingers to set on the bedside table. “You don’t have to wear them to bed, Kakashi.”

Kakashi leaned back down, his hand moving to hold Yamato’s face. He gave him a soft look and then said with the upmost serious tone, “But what about your glasses kink?”

Yamato snorted and pushed his face away, telling him between laughs, “I hate you.”

Kakashi smiled and moved back to kiss him. “No, you don’t.”

***

Yamato had always liked sleeping beside Kakashi. It wasn’t even about the closeness, having him near, or anything like that. What had really made him feel so much love in those moments, was the simple fact that Kakashi could fall asleep with him, easily and without fault. Of course, he would sleep well in his own home. But Yamato remembered stories from their ANBU days, rumors about how Kakashi-taichou had a bad habit of taking too many watches during missions, saying he couldn’t sleep well. Yamato hadn’t known what they were talking about since Kakashi had always been able to sleep when he was with him.

It had made him feel so _trusted_ and Yamato had held on to that feeling with bruised fingers for years.

Kakashi was drifting into sleep now, his head resting just inches away from Yamato’s, their legs intertangled with his arm wrapped around Yamato’s side. Yamato reached up to hold his face and Kakashi’s eyes opened to look at him with a tired smile. “Hm?”

Yamato smiled back and then told him quietly, “You know you’re more than the Copy Nin, don’t you?” He knew he’d hit the nail on the head at the barely concealed grimace.

Kakashi snorted and said, “It’s one of my more flattering nicknames.”

Yamato didn’t take the bait of a topic change. “Do you miss it that much?”

Kakashi sighed and shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t know if I would say I miss it but, Tenzou, I had it almost twenty years. It’s hard to not…” He trailed off, looking down between them.

“You were an amazing shinobi before you even got it, Kakashi.”

Kakashi rolled his eyes, looking back to him with an exasperated smile. “You didn’t even know me then.”

Yamato smiled. “I heard stories.”

Kakashi chuckled lowly. “I’m sure they painted me in the most beautiful light.”

Yamato sighed and used his hand to turn Kakashi’s face back towards his when the man looked away. “Kakashi, you don’t need it. You’re plenty skilled without it and I don’t think you’ve ever depended on it. Remember I’ve fought alongside you for years even, that never changed.”

Kakashi grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to him. He kissed him and then leaned his forehead against his, admitting quietly as he closed his eyes, “I feel like I’m losing my touch.”

Yamato laced their fingers together and rested their hands between them. “And I’m sure being stuck at a desk all day isn’t helping.”

Kakashi shook his head and Yamato assured him in a soft voice with a smile, “You’re not losing your touch and I know you keep joking about it but you’re not _old_ , Kakashi. You’re barely thirty.”

Kakashi sighed and Yamato told him, “Even if you were, it doesn’t matter. If you’ve lived past your prime – which I don’t think you _have_ – it’s fine, Kakashi.”

Kakashi opened his eyes to look at him, a small smile on his lips. “Are you trying to tell me I’m more than some well-used tool in a shed?”

Yamato snorted. “Something like that.” He raised an eyebrow at him. “Am I not doing a good job?”

“You are.” Kakashi leaned forward to slant his lips over his and then told him after a moment, “I’ll… figure it out. You’ll have to be patient with me.”

Yamato kissed him again and curled more around him, promising against his skin, “I’ll keep reminding you.”

***

Yamato bolted upright in bed, his heart pounding in his chest as images lingered on the edges of his vision. He breathed out with his face in his hands, trying to will them away as he focused on the man lying beside him.

_It wasn’t real…_

He ran his fingers through his hair as he calmed down and looked down at Kakashi. He was watching him quietly, a comforting smile on his face, but he didn’t reach out for him. Didn’t touch him in case it would’ve been overwhelming. He’d learned it years ago before they even shared a bed on a nightly basis. When Yamato was panicked or stressed out, he didn’t like physical touch, his senses already overwhelming him. He liked people to wait until he calmed down enough before touching him. Kakashi was the opposite, that look in his eyes always calming when Yamato put a heavy hand on his shoulder, his grip tight in his clothes when he pulled him into a hug. It had always been ironic, and Yamato had quickly learned when they were in ANBU, Kakashi rarely reached out for anyone unless he needed it.

When his breathing was back to normal and all he could see was Kakashi surrounded by sheets in their bed, he gave him a tentative smile. Kakashi opened his arms to him and Yamato fell into him, his arm tight around his waist. He sighed against his chest as Kakashi rubbed a hand up and down his back. Kakashi didn’t say anything. Yamato wasn’t able to go back to sleep and while he thought it was unnecessary, he was comforted from how Kakashi stayed awake with him and just simply held him.

***

Yamato woke up groggily, his head pounding as his eyes adjusted to the bright white of the room. His mind was foggy, and he looked to the right to see Kakashi watching him closely. He was leaning back in his chair with one of his books in his lap and his ankles crossed on the edge of Yamato’s bed.

Yamato sighed even as he smiled. Kakashi was always a welcome sight to wake up to. “Shouldn’t you be in your office, Kakashi-senpai?”

Kakashi shrugged and told him, “Naruto’s watching over things for me.”

Yamato barely nodded before he felt sleep take him again.

It was night when he woke up again and Kakashi was still in the same position, a lamp turned on nearby so he could read. Yamato felt himself smile as he turned his head towards him. He told him softly, “Kakashi, you should go home and rest.”

Kakashi chuckled and shook his head, turning another page. “I’m not going to go home to sleep while the man I love lies in a hospital bed.”

Warmth filled his chest and Yamato didn’t argue with him. Kakashi stood up from his chair, laying his book to the side and siting on the edge of Yamato’s bed near his hip. He leaned over him, a hand cradling his face as he asked him, “How’re you feeling?”

“Tired.” Yamato covered his hand with his own. “How long have I been asleep?”

“Not long.” Kakashi raised an eyebrow at him, a crooked smile on his lips. “I’m not surprised you’re so tired. Breaking your arm and passing out will do that to you.”

Yamato sighed and looked down at his right arm that was in a sling. “Didn’t Sakura heal this? Why is it in a sling?”

“She doesn’t want you to use it for a few days.”

Yamato groaned and leaned his head back. “Did she take me off the mission roster?”

Kakashi chuckled and nodded. “For now. It’s what you get, you know.”

“Like you’re one to talk. I’m at least not chakra depleted like you’re so fond of doing.”

Kakashi rolled his eyes and leaned in closer to him. “No, but you are _physically exhausted_. She wants to keep you here for a few days to make sure you actually get some rest.”

Yamato glanced at all the tubes that were hooked up to him and shifted uncomfortably. He looked back to Kakashi with a mischievous smile. “You should sneak me out.”

Kakashi laughed and leaned back. Yamato turned his head to kiss the palm of Kakashi’s hand. “Come on, I know you hate this place as much as I do and if you insist on staying with me, then…”

Kakashi stared at him for a moment and then stood up from the bed with a sigh. “Sakura’s going to kill _me_ , you know.”

Yamato grinned as Kakashi started silencing all the machines. “I’m sure she’ll kill me also, so you won’t die alone at least.”

Kakashi snorted, gently pulling the IV from him and then covering it with a bandage. “You’re so romantic.”

Yamato chuckled and Kakashi slowly pulled him up to sit. Yamato closed his eyes and waited for his head to adjust and stop making him dizzy. After he was sure he’d be fine, Kakashi went to another side of the room for a bag that had some clothes in it.

Yamato supposed being Hokage had some perks to it. Luckily for them, Sakura wasn’t on shift and Kakashi strolled through the halls with his arm around Yamato’s waist like it was perfectly normal. A medic caught them as they were about to leave.

“Yamato-san!” Yamato winced as she stopped in front of them. Her eyes flickered to Kakashi. “Kakashi-sama, Yamato-san is not set to be dismissed for two more days.”

Kakashi waved a hand at her with a smile and lied through his teeth. “Sakura-sama told me it would be fine to take him home tonight. I’ll watch over him.”

The woman looked at him confused and then back down to a clipboard in her hands. “No, she would’ve – it says right here that – “

Kakashi started walking again and patted her on the arm as they went around her. “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. Good night!”

***

Yamato had his feet in Kakashi’s lap on the couch as he dozed on and off throughout the day. He hoped he would stop feeling so exhausted after another night. He was already tired of laying around the house and it had only been a day.

Kakashi had made himself comfortable on the other end, one of his hands on Yamato’s calf as he read over another scroll. Papers and scrolls were scattered all over the coffee table. Yamato tapped his stomach with his foot. “You know by the time you go back, Naruto may not want to give you the hat back.”

Kakashi chuckled and rolled his eyes. “It’s only for a few days, Tenzou. Don’t be so dramatic.”

“So, what does it say on record? For your absence?” Yamato asked him curiously, knowing it was a little more difficult for Hokages to get some time off. Though he supposed having Naruto helped.

The tips of Kakashi’s ears turned pink and he told him nonchalantly, “Family leave.”

Yamato felt his heart swell and before he could reply, there was a knock on the door. Kakashi slipped out from under him and pulled up his mask. Yamato bit back a smile at how adorable he looked fixing his glasses over the edge of it.

The door had only opened a second before Yamato heard her voice hiss, “You are a _bad_ influence.”

Kakashi sighed and followed Sakura to the living room. “Mah, Sakura-chan, it was _his_ idea.”

Sakura leaned over the back of the couch with a glare and threw the sling he’d left at the hospital at him. “Do you have _any_ idea how angry I was when I walked in for my shift to be told you _left in the middle of the night_?”

Yamato answered unsurely, “Very?”

Sakura sighed and walked around the couch to kneel beside him. She put a hand to his forehead as her hand glowed green. “Are all retired ANBU like this or are you two just special, Yamato-taichou?”

Yamato chuckled and said as her chakra swept through him, “ANBU have their own medics. We don’t usually go to the hospital unless it’s for life threatening injuries or something our medics can’t handle.”

Sakura hummed and pulled her hand away before standing up. “Well, I’d _like_ you to wear your sling, but if you’re going to act like a brat and not listen, at least don’t use your arm too much. Come see me in two days.” She stepped away and back towards the door, adding in a singing voice, “If you don’t, I won’t clear you for missions.”

“I will,” Yamato called after her while Kakashi laughed softly, moving back to the couch.

***

Yamato was too exhausted to react to the rustle of leaves in the trees above them. Trusting Genma enough to tell him if they were under attack.

He didn’t expect the snort followed by a small weight landing next to him. Yamato opened his eyes and felt a tired smile at the sight of the two dogs standing by his side looking at him in concern. Yamato sat up more against the log he’d collapsed against as Genma stoked the campfire. “What’re you doing here?”

Pakkun trotted up to lean his head against Yamato’s thigh. “Boss said you’re about two weeks late. He was getting worried.”

Yamato felt some warmth gather in his chest as he reached down to scratch behind Pakkun’s ears. “Ran into some trouble. We should be back soon.”

Pakkun nodded and glanced at Shiba. “I’ll let him know.”

Yamato watched him sprint back into the trees and then Shiba walked over without a word to curl up beside him. Yamato chuckled and laid a hand on his back. “Sticking around?”

Shiba only shifted his head to lay it on Yamato’s leg in lieu of an answer. Yamato smiled and glanced over at Genma. The man was giving him a smirk. “Man, you know the Hokage’s never checked in on _me_ like that when I was a little late.”

Yamato snorted and shook his head. “Not like he sent the ANBU, Genma.”

***

“Dismissed.”

Genma disappeared with a nod of his head and a pat to Yamato’s shoulder. As soon as the door closed, Yamato walked over to Kakashi with a tired smile. Kakashi took off his glasses and set them down on his desk, then turned in his chair towards Yamato and reached out a hand.

Yamato took it and let Kakashi pull him forward as he tugged down his mask. He kissed him and chided, “You were getting me worried.”

Yamato chuckled. “I could see that.”

Kakashi narrowed his eyes at him and Yamato kissed him. “I’m fine, Kakashi.”

Kakashi moved a hand to the back of his thigh and tried to pull him closer, making Yamato smile. “I’m not going to make out with you in your office, Kakashi.”

Kakashi’s grip on him became firmer and Yamato let him coerce him into his lap as Kakashi told him against his lips, “But it would make things so much more interesting around here. Besides Shizune has the day off so I can have you all to myself.”

Yamato rolled his eyes at him, vaguely aware of Yugao flickering from her post in the office to one outside. Kakashi’s mouth was on his again, kissing him slowly as his fingers slipped off his forehead protector and tossed it to the desk. Yamato sighed against him as a warm hand slid under his shirt and up his back.

There was a knock on the door and before Yamato could react, Kakashi had switched their positions and was sliding to the floor. Yamato looked at him confused, glancing at the door as the person continued knocking. Kakashi held a finger to his lips and Yamato should’ve known he meant trouble from the sly grin on his face.

Yamato stayed quiet, thinking the person would just go away, but then the door opened. Yamato looked up at it as Kakashi moved back under his desk, dragging the rolling chair Yamato was on closer to him. He met the eyes of the person who had just walked into the room and then felt a hand start to snake up thigh.

_Kakashi wouldn’t…_

“Ah, Mitokado-san.” Yamato tried for a kind smile, feeling his heart rate pick up as Kakashi’s hand went up further. “The Hokage-sama just stepped out of the office.”

Mitokado looked at him annoyed, but it was a common expression on the man’s face. “And why are _you_ here instead?”

Yamato felt his pants zipper being dragged down and then Kakashi’s hand was on him. His breath caught in his throat and he moved a hand under the desk to tangle his fingers in Kakashi’s hair in warning.

“Oh, well, I had just finished giving him a mission report and was visiting with him. My mission was long and it had – ” Yamato swallowed thickly, thanking all his years in ANBU for his ability to keep his face composed as Kakashi’s hand started to stroke him. Yamato coughed to cover up a groan. “ – been a while since I had seen him.”

Mitokado hummed, giving him a disapproving look. “Well, where is he at now?”

Yamato held back a moan with more than a little effort as Kakashi’s tongue dragged along the underside of his cock. Yamato’s fingers tightened in his hair, but he doubted Kakashi saw it as anything besides encouragement.

_Oh, you know, just under the desk sucking my cock._

“He went down to one of the shops to grab us some tea.” Yamato let out a breath and then coughed again. His smile felt more strained. “You know, Mitokado-san, I’m not sure how long it will take him. Maybe you should come by tomorrow instead. I’ll tell him you stopped by.”

Mitokado huffed and turned on his heel. “I guess so.”

Yamato almost let a curse out when Kakashi’s lips wrapped around him. Yamato yanked on his hair and could’ve sworn he heard a quiet chuckle from under the desk.

Mitokado looked over his shoulder at Yamato with his hand on the doorknob. “Did you say something, Yamato-san?”

Yamato could only shake his head and Mitokado narrowed his eyes at him. “You know, even if the Hokage doesn’t mind you sitting at his desk like that, I don’t really think it’s appropriate.”

_Oh, you’ve no idea how inappropriate this is._

Yamato was on edge and felt the words slip out of his mouth before he could think of something more polite. “Well, I suppose I’m lucky you’re not my Hokage, aren’t I, Mitokado-san?”

Mitokado scoffed and left without another word. Yamato moved the chair back as soon as the door shut and glared down at Kakashi. “The _hell_ is wrong with you?”

Kakashi only smirked at him before leaning forward and bringing his mouth to Yamato’s cock again. Yamato felt a shuddering breath leave him and couldn’t find any strength to fight him. He came moments later, Kakashi’s name falling from his lips in a broken whisper. Kakashi swallowed him down, then stood up and leaned over the chair. He kissed him as he tucked Yamato back into his pants.

Yamato kissed him back, feeling lax against the chair. His hand was still buried in Kakashi’s hair and he mindlessly massaged at where he’d yanked on the silver locks. He told him against his mouth, “I’m going to kill you one of these days.”

Kakashi laughed and pulled back to look at him with a beautiful smile. “My, my, Tenzou, such words to say to your Hokage.”

Yamato couldn’t even muster up a glare for him and simply pulled him back in for another kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> If you enjoyed it, please consider leaving a comment and letting me know!


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